I'd like to present... Scientology.

I had to write this speech for my communication studies final. I'm giving it on Friday. I am, of course, not a Scientologist, and I don't really know anything about it... But this speech was really fun to write.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Miami, Florida for the annual Church of Scientology Convention. My name is Amber Harding. I am a minister at the Church of Scientology in Coral Gables, and I am very excited to have so many esteemed believers gathered here in South Florida today. Just looking into the crowd now I can see John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Priscilla Presley… Thank you all so much for spreading our message and revealing the truth to the American public. Speaking of spreading our message, our first guest has been an outspoken advocate of our Scientology mission since his conversion in 1990. He found his first success with Scientology when he overcame his dyslexia through the learning methods of our founder, Mr. L. Ron Hubbard. In addition to promoting various programs that introduce people to our mission, our speaker has campaigned for Scientology to be fully recognized as a religion in Europe. He has lobbied officials in France and Germany, where Scientology is thought of as merely a cult. He has supported our cause by campaigning against the prescribing of dangerous, mind-altering drugs, such as Paxil and Prozac, to both adults and children. He has been verbally attacked by media professionals such as Matt Lauer who criticize his work simply because they have made no effort to understand the good that Scientology can offer the world. He has endured criticism from self-righteous bloggers and reporters who have closed their minds to the endless benefits of our religion. Through all of this criticism, our speaker has remained steadfast in his beliefs and has volunteered to come here today to share with us his perspective about how to remain faithful and strong in a world where so many people live in darkness. In addition to his work with Scientology, however, our speaker has been a successful actor since he first broke into the film industry in 1983 with Risky Business. He has been nominated for three Academy Awards and has won nearly 40 other film awards, including Golden Globes, MTV Movie Awards and People’s Choice Awards. He is also one of only three actors in the history of film to have seven consecutive 100-million-dollar blockbusters. In Japan, the Memorial Day Association named October 10, 2006 after him because of his many visits to the country. But do not let these accolades fool you. His movies speak for themselves. Anyone ever heard of Mission Impossible, A Few Good Men or Vanilla Sky? How about Minority Report, Jerry Maguire or Top Gun? Yeah, I thought so. Our speaker’s lovely wife Katie has even joined us and is sitting right now in the front row. It is my honor to introduce faithful scientologist, famed actor and recipient of the 2004 International Association of Scientologists Freedom Medal of Valor Award. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tom Cruise.

An Expo to Remember

I have met more country music singers than you can shake a stick at.

I don't understand that cliché, but I felt it was appropriate. Anyway, yes, I have met many, many country music artists. The list includes: Billy Gilman, Dierks Bentley, Rodney Atkins, David Lee Murphy, Big & Rich, Blue County, Billy Currington, Ray Scott, Trent Willmon, Jack Ingram, Aaron Tippin, Billy Dean, Emerson Drive, Josh Turner, Keith Anderson, Jamey Johnson, Blaine Larsen, Danielle Peck and Craig Morgan. (I'm probably forgetting a few, but you get the point.)

Even though I have met so many artists, however, I have never before felt as star-struck as I did two weeks ago. I went to the annual Country Music Expo, sponsored by 95.5 WFMS in Indianapolis. My friend Aly and I attend every year because it is a great opportunity not only to see several artists in concert, but also to get autographs and meet them in person. We were excited about the Expo this year, but we had no idea it would become the best Expo EVER.
Aly and I adore Garth Brooks. In fact, we're bordering on obsession. No, we did not meet Garth Brooks, but we got about as close as we will probably ever get - We met his lovely wife, Trisha Yearwood. They told us she was busy, so we expected her to rush everyone through as quickly as possible. Not true. Trisha was an absolute sweetheart. She took the time to have conversations with us, sign personalized autographs (not just a quick scribble that doesn't resemble anything in the English language), and posed for individual pictures with everyone. I love her even more now, not only as an artist, but also as a person. She was absolutely fantastic.

Country Music Expo 2008

 Seven from Whiskey Falls

Whiskey Falls  

 Jake Owen

Jack Ingram 

 Trisha Yearwood

Phil Vassar 

 Luke Bryan

Temporary Finals Hiatus

I promise I'm still alive.

Thanks to finals and final papers and everything else professors are throwing at me lately, I haven't really had time to post anything worthwhile. But I'll be back soon. That is, if finals don't kill me.

Summit '08

We are the champions, my friend.

The Lady Vols just won their eighth national championship. I can hear people screaming and cheering outside my window. The announcers on ESPN are drowned out by the repeating sounds of "Rocky Top." There's nothing more I can say. This is beautiful.

Congratulations, ladies!

Lady Vols are still amazing. (& It's good to be an A-Rod.)

At least ONE Tennessee team remembers how to play basketball.

The Tennessee women's basketball team is awesome. Plain and simple. After tonight's win over Texas A&M, though, I just hope Candace Parker's shoulder is going to be OK. You know what else is awesome? Cake. Better yet: Tennessee Volunteer cake. This piece of cake was enthusiastically delivered to my door after the Lady Vols won. I'm not sure how they managed to put orange and white checkers in it, but I am thoroughly amazed.

Also, we all learned today that Alex Rodriguez makes more than the entire Florida Marlins roster combined. Here is the AP story. Apparently, A-Rod makes $28 million. That's $6.2 million more than the Marlins' tiny $21.8 million payroll. All that money, ladies and gentlemen, and A-Rod still can't hit in the playoffs. Incredible.